Welcome

Every Client is THE Client


Introduction to my Firm image
The cornerstone of representation is the honesty and commitment of the working relationship. Honesty is what you will get at the Law Offices of Tamarah Evanko Gay. 

People do not seek out legal help without knowing that they need good, honest and fair guidance. This is especially true in the realm of Family Law. Tamarah will always tell you the truth of what you face even when the truth is difficult. That is her commitment to you and your needs.

  At E- Gay Law you receive one on one attention.  Tamarah will guide you through your legal matters, but she will not treat you like a child unable to assist in your case.  She will work with you and ask that you do some work on your matter alongside the firm.  This cooperative work relationship not only gives you full access to your case, but keeps your hourly bill lower.  Further, Attorney Evanko-Gay will fight for you in and out of court.  She is not afraid to battle against the tide to get you the outcome you deserve.  However, she works diligently to gain a favorable outcome without destroying your world.   She will not advise you to fight over a $50 coffee table if it will probably cost you $200 in legal fees. Nor will she spend time avoiding the big battles which are necessary.  Sometimes the answer lies in retreat and regroup to come back a different way.  This is the "Art of War".

Honesty is the Key


Child Support

Both parents have an obligation to support their children. The Courts of Connecticut have decided that the needs of the child are above those of the individual parents. Support belongs to the child not the custodial or non-custodial parent. Parents must know that child support pays for rent/mortgage of the custodial parent, the electricity, the internet or phone, the general needs of the child(ren). Think of child support as a large pot where all of those items are placed. You the paying parent will put that money in. The non-paying parent will put their amount in and stir. That is the child's maintenance. It is not just clothing, shoes, and haircuts just as it would not be that if they lived full time with you.

Defense of Restraining Order

Temporary restraining orders are not just given to men. They are only a tool in the arsenal to protect a person from physical harm or harassment. It is vital to defend against a wrongful restraining order. Never just give in because it is easier. There are issue which can come up if you have a restraining order against you. Talk to an attorney because your future rights are important.

Divorce/ Dissolution

It is important that the parties involved in a divorce situation understand and receive their best representation. Representation does not mean that an attorney will go and blow up the opposition. That kind of representation damages your life because after we legal staff leave you are left to pick up the pieces. The best divorce lawyers work with their clients to find a way to untangle the marriage, the kids, the property with as little pain as possible.

DCF Defense

Attorney Evanko has represented parents and children in representation in the juvenile matters court. DCF Defense is a specialized skill set. It is important that the parents understand what is happening and that nothing is quick when it comes to working with the department.

Guardian-Ad-Litem

A guardian -ad- litem or GAL is someone who is able to represent the best interest of the minor child. They may not be hired by the parents!!!! However, it is important to work together with the parents and their family to ensure that the child has the best outcome possible.

Support Enforcement

The support enforcement court ensures that the non-custodial parent contributes to the health and welfare of each of their children. It also ensures that the children are taken care of properly with the funds which are given and shared. Both parents are to support the needs of the kids they produced.

CoParenting Coordinator

Working with parents has been top priority for me and my practice. Parents need guidance after the court battles are over and way to move forward without the expense of ongoing litigation. Coparenting Coordination is born out of this need. I work with both parents to create an ongoing atmosphere of trust where trust does not exist. In my coordination practice I guide parents to have their individual voices heard, but to also allow for the space for their children's needs to be present. My approach emphasizes strategic learning for both parents. We will work on timely handling of problematic themes. We will work on neutrality and confident communication skills which will lead to respectful outcomes for the family.


Tamarah Evanko Gay


Attorney Owner

Tamarah is a proud graduate of Quinnipiac University School of Law.


  • PO Box 612 Vernon, CT, United States


divorce image

Divorce and Divorcing Families

The process of divorce means a permanent change in your life. It is a restructuring of your family unit that takes careful consideration. No matter how   Now that you have decided to get divorced life will never be the same again for you, your children, and your soon to be ex spouse.  This process can be just as hard on LGBTQ or Lifestyle people.  All of these issues make divorce a tricky subject nonetheless.  Let me help you through the process of starting over. 

 
For parents, divorce can bring about feelings of anger, shame, remorse, and fear. It is not only the parents who separate, but the children who also have to deal with the loss and confusion that divorce can bring about. It is imperative that divorcing or separating parents have a solid plan of action to allow as much of a normal life for the child as possible.  This can be done by structuring a parenting plan which focuses on the needs of the children and not just that of the individual parent.  Not every plan works for every family.  

 

I work on the principal that divorce is painful enough without resorting to ongoing fighting and back stabbing. My staff and I want for your family what you wanted when the marriage began, to have a happy life.

 

The goal of many parents should be the health and emotional welfare of their children. However, this is often not the case when fighting and accusations get in the way of the needs of the only innocent parties to the divorce. We at Evanko Law work to re-focus our clients on the life they want after the temporary trauma of the divorce process has ended. Whether it is the end of a toxic and volatile relationship or the amicable end of time together, we can help.

Call us at (860) 785-6013 or email us at tamarah@ctfamilylawyer.com or evankolaw@outlook.com for a Free 30 minute Consultation.


Stages of a Divorce

1. In Connecticut it takes 90 days from the time of filing to complete a divorce. Around the 91st day you will return to court and if completely ready then the parties can get a final hearing on the dissolution. During those 90 days the couple must either come to an agreement on all the personal issues to be able to divorce on the 91st day or at your Case Management Date. If the parties are not in agreement on all or most of the issues then they will have to leave those issues for the court to decide.

2. When it comes to division of property, custody of children, or support it is always better for those who know the situation best to make the decisions. We at Evanko Law work with you and your ex-partner (as best as possible) to ease your transition and guide you in this often complicated and overwhelming process.

3. The court cost will be $360. The fee for service usually costs about $65.


4. Each parent may apply for custody of their child, which is done at the beginning of the case. However, if they cannot come to an agreement on their own, it is up to the courts to make a decision. The state of Connecticut will decide based on the best interest of the child. Should the parents not be able to decide the Court will often ask "family relations" to assist OR a party OR the court may request the assistance of a GAL (guardian ad litem).

Each parent will be required to attend a parenting class which at present runs approx. $125.

5. Parents must not forget all of the small decisions which if not handled now may cause trouble in the future.  Some of those are:
  1.   how their children will be raised and if there is a remarriage
  2.   how the children will be involved in the lives of future siblings
  3.   what happens if a parent needs to move for work.
  4.  Now, even the cost of secondary education is a question that parents must consider.
    1. Questions like: Which parent will pay for college and how much? Should each parent be required to put money into a college savings, if so how much?
 
Often for divorcing parents this is not a consideration. Would you want to leave those questions open?

6. Community property must be settled during the divorce process. This includes real estate whether purchased during the marriage or prior, vehicles, antiques, jewelry, heirlooms, etc.

At the final hearing on your divorce, Evanko Law wants to be sure that you have settled all the elements which could be settled and ensure that you can move on with your life by getting a fresh start.



Co Parenting Coordinator image
What does a Parenting Coordinator Do?
We are the bridge between the struggle of parents who are trying to coparent.  We are able to help you to make decisions without continual back and forth which has stymied your attempts previously.
Key Responsibilities and Scope
  • Conflict Resolution & Mediation: Acting as a mediator to resolve day-to-day disputes, such as scheduling, school, or medical decisions, often when parents are unable to agree on their own.
  • Implementation of Parenting Plans: Assisting in the interpretation and enforcement of existing custody orders or agreements.
  • Decision-Making Authority: Depending on the court order, a parenting coordinator may be authorized to make binding recommendations or decisions for the parents.
  • Education: Teaching co-parenting skills, educating parents on child development, and improving communication techniques.
  • Limitations: Parenting coordinators cannot typically change legal custody status or make major modifications to the overall time-sharing plan, and they do not act as therapist, attorney, or evaluator
  • Who Needs a Coordinator?
    • Parents who cannot communicate without anger or aggression
    • Parents who find coming to a resolution difficult
    • Parents who need someone to assist them in making difficult decisions for their children, but do not want the expense of going back to court
    • Parents who want to remain child centric in their approach to coparenting 
    • Those who have tried all the "Court" things and still are not succeeding
Is a Coordinator Just another cost?
No, A coordinator is not just another cost.  I am here to assist you and your ex to gain positive skills.  My goal and purpose is to teach both of you how to communicate better and how to decision make.  I work with you to create parenting plans or adjust the plans you have.  I also work with you both the ensure that whatever the plan you have it you would be able to make changes as needed without having to seek the assistance of anyone else.  That is effort and it takes time.  If you are going to learn then you have to practice and you practice with someone who has the skillset to teach.  You cannot learn a language from someone who does not speak it themselves.  As a family attorney, I speak the language and I can guide you and your ex in a manner which creates space for you both to feel heard and accepted.



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About image

 
Handling a Family Court Delay /Custody Battle during
Covid-19 Pandemic
2020
  

What is the Coronavirus

  • The coronavirus is part of a group of viruses which cause a host of respiratory illnesses.  The common cold is a version of the coronavirus.  So, the word corona stands for any virus within a group or classification.  Other viruses like SARS.  According to the CDC website Coronaviruses are a large family of viruses that are common in people and many different species of animals, including camels, cattle, cats, and bats. Rarely, animal coronaviruses can infect people and then spread between people such as with MERS-CoV, SARS-CoV, and now with this new virus (named SARS-CoV-2).

  • Where did the virus come from anyway?
  • Well according to the CDC the virus began in Wuhan China.  Early on, many of the patients at the epicenter of the outbreak in Wuhan, Hubei Province, China had some link to a large seafood and live animal market, suggesting animal-to-person spread. Later, a growing number of patients reportedly did not have exposure to animal markets, indicating person-to-person spread. (CDC website).






Overview of the Court COOP plan.
The COOP plan from the court has been laid out.  It determined that only priority 1 business shall be allowed to go to court until March 27th. An evaluation shall be done during that time to see how court cases may continue.  Most cases are moved and rescheduled by the courts.


Statement from Judge Patrick L. Carroll III
Chief Court Administrator
March 12, 2020
The Judicial Branch today implemented various measures as a result of concern over the spread of the COVID-19/coronavirus and in recognition of the public health emergency declaration Governor Lamont issued.  It is also important to note, in the clearest terms possible, that the courts of the State of Connecticut are open and will remain open.  
These measures are:
 Under the terms and provisions of the Judicial Branch’s Continuity of Operations Plan (COOP), commencing Monday, March 16, 2020, and continuing through March 27, 2020, the courts will schedule and hear only those matters identified as “Priority 1 Business Functions.”  
 
The following matters are Priority 1 Business Functions: o Criminal arraignments and domestic violence arraignments;
 o Juvenile detention hearings;
o Family orders of relief from abuse;
 o Civil orders of relief from abuse
 o Civil protection orders
o Ex parte motions
 o Orders of temporary custody
o Orders to appear
 o Emergency ex parte order of temporary custody
 o Juvenile detention operations for detainees held for juvenile court
 o Termination of parental rights
 o Domestic violence victim notification
 o Civil and family capias mittimus execution and bond reviews
 
 With the exception of jury trials already in progress and criminal jury trials necessitated by the filing and granting of a speedy trial motion, all jury trials, civil and criminal, are suspended for the next 30 days.
Consistent with guidance offered by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and the Connecticut Department of Public Health, these measures are being taken to reduce the number of people entering our courthouses in an effort to mitigate the potential for spreading of the virus.
OK…. I Read This Now What Does It Mean?
For you in particular, this means that your case will not be heard in the near future.  Any cases scheduled would be marked OFF (off the calendar) by the Court.  This is the same as the court filing a continuance on its own.  The reschedules dates will have to be adjusted based on your time, time of the opposition and any attorneys involved.  If you have any scheduled meetings with family relations, then please call them and see if they will be moved also.
Parents should limit transfers in crowded public places.  Social distancing is being requested by the doctors of the U.S.  Social distancing is labeled as remaining six feet or two meters from one another.  It is important that you and your opposition use best practices when dealing with exchanges.  Wash the hands of the kids (carry baby wipes) when they come or go.  Explain to the other parent that you are not saying anything bad about them, but that you are being supportive of your child’s health.  Remind your children to wash often and try to not touch their faces a lot. 
For those whose visitation was in the community and your location is now closed.  The weather is improving, so parks are often an option. If you need to be indoors seek out public restaurants and sometimes even grocery stores have table for your to meet.  Malls are not a great location for social distance practicing.
Sick Children: When a child is sick and it is time for parenting swaps, it is often difficult to decide whether to send the child or not.  Should you keep a child at home if sick?  The answer to that question depends on the ailment of the child.  If the child has a simple cold, stomachache, headache or minor digestive issues; then parenting time should remain as scheduled.  The other parent can often handle these minor issues themselves.  Remember that you would want the other parent to treat you with the same respect.
The child who is sick with a fever, throwing up, diarrhea or possibly has coronavirus should not be transferred.  Phone the other parent and ensure that they know what is happening with your child.  Promise to keep them informed of progress of the illness.  If this is needed then the parent should take the child to the doctor as soon as possible.  This concept and plan is often supported by the court judges.  This can be difficult if a parent is known to fake illnesses. 
As for parents getting sick or getting the Covid-19…
It is my opinion that if the parent comes up sick with the virus, then the other parents should follow any isolation protocols which the government has established.  The isolation at the writing of this memo is the following.  Self-induced isolation should be followed for fourteen days.  If the person shows no signs of getting ill (sore throat, sudden fever, breathing difficulties) then they may leave isolation.  If the ill parent has been at home then the child should remain away from them until they have had three tests of negative for the virus.  This 3 testing is what has been put in place based on the CDC recommendations. The child should be able to skype, DUO and use other ways of being together without contact closer than six feet away.  This is hard to do, but necessary to control the spread of the virus.
What about the custody
Many of you are still in the midst of deciding custody with the person who is the other person.  I am working with the opposition in your case to settle your case and keep progress going on the matter.  In some cases this work is done with the attorney on the other side.  In other cases, this work is done with the opposition and doing a non-traditional mediation.  The courts’ restriction for cases make it impossible to handle any contempt matters.  Those matters will be dealt with when the courts return to the normal practice.  When you have issues which require assistance please text or email problems and I will assist when and where I am able. 
Please continue to keep your schedule as you have done for the last few months.  Unless you have an agreement to otherwise make changes; your kids lives should remain the same. 
Home Preparation
I am writing this part to advise you on home preparation.  You should be prepared to work from home, if available.  Many schools have already closed and many more are going to close.  When they will reopen is questionable.  So below is a list of items that general prepared people should have on hand.
Medication: if you can get medication in 90 day supplies then by all means get those.  If you are typically slow in renewal of the medications, then now is the time to get the renewal.  Make sure children’s medications are up to date and have asthma meds in both homes.  If you have trouble with this than call the doctors and they will order you double to medication to split.  Make sure that the children take the medications. 
Food:  Make sure that the food you have is not expired.  We all keep food past the expiration date.  We buy things which we intend to eat, but do not get around to it.  This is the good time to clean and restock.  Once you restock what should you use?  Make sure that you have non-perishable food you will actually eat.  Do not worry about the food that you believe will be good.  Rice and beans are great, but only if you are actually going to eat rice and beans every day.  Buy things that will have lots of good nutrients.  This is not the time to stock up on snack foods for the kiddos. 
Fruit: long lasting fruits and vegetables are great.  Make sure that you get canned, jar, or other items as needed for three weeks of 3 meals a day.
Canned:  Beans are a good source of protein and can be good, but only if you will eat them.  Canned fish, meats, chicken are all good opportunities to make meals and that have protein. 
Others:
Seeds, nuts, and other items of the like can be added to meals or as good long-term snacks.   Cheese, milk, eggs should all be a part of the amounts needed. Please remember that you should stock the things you will eat.
Conclusion:
I am available to assist you in the coming days.  I will be following the same state recommendations for distancing.  I will no longer be shaking hands, giving hugs (which I am known to do).  I can be reached by phone at 860-785-6013 by text at the same number.  I can have video conferencing and mediation between the parties.  I will be limiting in person meetings for the foreseeable future, but I am in no way disappearing.
Be safe and God Bless
Tamarah Gay